Hey! I'm in the process of archiving all my stuff from everywhere it has been scattered, and it occurred to me to archive some posts from my Patreon too. These were originally posted in 2019 and have since been made public, but I'd like to have them here as well just in case. I would hate to lose them. I'm going to paste them over in their entirety. Enjoy!
Victor Playlist Breakdown
27/9/2019
Hey guys!! I thought it would be fun to do a weekly post talking about my character playlists! I've wanted to do some sort of playlist breakdown for a while because they're 95% of what I listen to on repeat while I work/exercise/clean/do literally anything. Some of these songs have been on my character playlists for.. almost ten years..... oh my god........
Anyway, I have 23 of these playlists, making up over 200 songs combined. I'm not going to talk about every single one, just the main characters, and only the most important songs because we will be here forever otherwise. So let's get going!!!!!! This week is Victor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, lads, this is going to be long.
wish we could turn back time
to the good old days
when our mama sang us to sleep
but now we're stressed out
Each character has one or two bands that's like, their band, and one of Vic's is Twenty One Pilots. I'm sorry, I know it's basic, but I do not make the rules. It's pretty obvious why this one's on here - things were simpler when Vic was younger. Things suck now. He's Stressed Out.
wanted to be a better brother, better son
wanted to be a better adversary to the evil i have done
He feels like he hasn't been a force for good in his life. He has baggage. He wants help but also doesn't know how to ask for it.
and everybody is afraid of me
and i'm afraid to go out in the streets
reminders of my failures everywhere i will be
everybody is afraid of me
This one is also pretty obvious by the lyrics. The place in the line "this place has taken all my self esteem" is obviously Urquhart - whatever went down destroyed his confidence, and he's constantly reminded of why he's now stuck at Earl. He perceives himself as being dangerous and assumes everyone around him knows what he's done and is thinking about it as much as he is. He has no self esteem, guys, do you get it.
another day, waking to the same old beat
counting doors, walking through the same old street
breathing in, breathing out the same
nothing's changed, just imitating yesterday
This song is about being stuck in a routine and wanting to break out of it. Vic is stuck in an endless cycle of doing the same shit day in and day out. The lines "it's just a game where you're the boss and I'm just a slave" and "I try my best but all you do is laugh in my face" are about NATE.
i want to swim away but don't know how
sometimes it feels just like i'm falling in the ocean
let the waves up and take me down
let the hurricane set in motion
let the rain of what i feel right now come down
Vic wants things to change, but doesn't know how to make that happen. He's depressed!!! He can't pull himself out of this misery he's drowning in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Someone HELP HIM!!
they couldn't think of something to say the day you burst
those hungry lions, with all their might and all their thirst
they crowd your bedroom like some thoughts wearing thin
against the walls, against your rules, against your skin
I think this is the one that's been on my Vic playlist the longest. The "they" is Urquhart; they wanted something from Vic he couldn't give them, and when he failed they just dropped him. Urquhart and its expectations still haunt him all these years later (side note: the only colour symbolism I thought to include in the comic when I first started it was Vic's hoodie. The only time backgrounds are blue is at Urquhart, and Vic's hoodie is also blue........... he's carrying Urquhart around with him wherever he goes)
i think i'll go home and mull this over
before i cram it down my throat
all these squawking birds won't quit
building nothing, laying bricks
For me this song is about Vic obsessing over his past while refusing to talk about it. It never leads to anything productive, though. The birds are his own thoughts. I fucking love this song.
if you want me to come outside
you're gonna have to pull me hard
i'm not just singing wistfully
i'm begging you to help me
cause i'm addicted to my bedroom
Hi here's another song that's literally just Vic's inner dialogue. He knows he has a problem and wants someone to fix it for him, he just doesn't have the tools to ask. He's so sad. I love him so much.
and it seems mad
that we're born on the doorstep
of squalor and of pedestals
and i lie here
surrounded by a range
of general anaesthetics
Vic contemplating the hand he's been dealt and hoping for a better future. I can't hear "born on the doorstep of squalor and of pedestals" as anything but a reference to how Urquhart treats its trainees - you either succeed and are raised up, or left behind. Also one of my favourite songs ever.
i am so ashamed
i am so ashamed of all the trouble i have caused
i am so ashamed of all these unopened doors
I am so ashamed of what i have become
Here's another veteran of the playlist!! This has been one of my favourite Vic songs since 2011. He's fucking wallowing. In this one he doesn't even want things to change, he's just accepted his fate.
wallow in your miserable mess as you tend to
you've mastered looking unimpressed, do i offend you?
mourning monday all week long's not healthy
but being happy's only for the wealthy
Finally, a more upbeat song, and one that isn't from Vic's perspective. I see this one as Julia talking to/about Victor. She loves him but is kind of sick of his shit - "pray one day I'll live to see you break a smile". I see the "wealthy" as being, yes, you guessed it, Urquhart; she's sarcastically agreeing with him that he doesn't deserve to be happy because he didn't make it at Urquhart. The Hoosiers is one of the bands shared between Vic and Nate.
Speaking of Nate...
and now i try hard to make it
i just want to make you proud
i'm never gonna be good enough for you
i try not to think
about the pain i feel inside
did you know you used to be my hero?
Fucking hell yes of COURSE I am all aBOUT those angsty 2000s songs. This song is about disappointing your dad, and Vic's father figure, unfortunately, was Nate. Vic just wants his approval. I'm going to cry.
and i could never tell as a kid
what that window door went to
only told to stay away
This song is about the Event that led to Vic having to live at Earl. I wish I could talk about this properly instead of having to be vague because this song makes me SO sad. Again, he's accept his fate. He just wants to die and not be a bother to anyone anymore.
life's too short to even care at all
i'm losing my mind losing my mind losing control
these fishes in the sea they're staring at me
a wet world aches for a beat of the drum
This song will definitely have more context by the end of Book Two but a surface-level explanation is that Vic wants to do something to make his life better. The fishes and zombies are Urquhart and they're watching and judging him. Someone please let this boy be happy I'm going to lose my shit.
(btw did you notice that the fish have urq jacket designs on them? it's the five members of nate's team)
i'm sorry for everything, everything i've done
from the second i was born it seems i had a loaded gun
and then i shot, shot, shot a hole through everything i loved
oh i shot, shot, shot a hole through every single thing that i loved
Regrets............. he messed up............................ he thinks he's garbage........... "oh, I'm going to mess this up, oh, this is just my luck" god Vic get a hold of yourself
If The Hoosiers is a Vic&Nate band, Imagine Dragons is a Vic&Masha band.
sing me to sleep
sing me to sleep
and then leave me alone
there is another world
there is a better world
there must be
Another Vic&Nate band. Another song about how Vic a) is tired and b) wants to just disappear. He's dreaming about his life being, idk, good.
cause i feel so mad
i feel so angry
feel so calloused
so lost, confused, again
How's about another angsty 2000s song? How's about Vic gets real mad for once instead of just being sad?? How's about some directionless anger????????
you're caught in a cycle
you'll never get out
afraid of your shadow
and living in doubt
cause i can't save myself
much less somebody else
so i gotta do better
I've purposely left off the more spoilery songs but you know what, this playlist is pretty depressing so I need to end it on a (relatively) positive note. Literally the whole point of Vic's character from a writing standpoint is that he does not want to be the protagonist. He knows he's not protagonist material. He's not a superhero. The one person he really needs to focus on saving is himself. I hope he does.
gOD WOW OKAY!! That took me SO much longer to type up than I thought it would. If you read this whole thing, thank you for indulging me. Let me know which playlist you're interested in reading about next!!
Masha Playlist Breakdown
4/10/2019
Hey guys! It's time for another character playlist breakdown. Last week I did Victor's and this week I'm gonna go through Masha's! This is already a very different collection of songs to Vic's and I'm super excited to talk about it, so let's get into it.
i will be all the rage tonight
watch me shimmy into the light
filled with fury and starry-eyed
i will be all the rage
Masha is enormously motivated by wanting to be the best and to be recognised for it. A sticking point for her is that after Jeremy left Urquhart, leadership of her team was offered to Nate instead of her, as she believed she deserved. She's gonna show 'em all.
kids were laughing in my classes
while i was scheming for the masses
who do you think you are?
dreaming bout being a big star
Oh, hey, it's Imagine Dragons, that one band Masha shares with Vic! This is another song about wanting to make it big and being underestimated. Vic and Masha are almost two sides of the same coin, one succeeding and one failing.
one track mind, one track heart
if i fail i'll fall apart
maybe it is all a test
cause i feel like i'm the worst
so i always act like i'm the best
Hell yeah, time for Masha's main band. Masha has thrown her entire being into Urquhart. She knows exactly who she is. Or at lesat, she needs to think she does. She doesn't take failure well and tries to quash down her insecurities by engrossing herself in her work.
see the way we all run
when we know it all off by heart
played down, waiting all out
when we win or lose it this time
when the pressure's building for a great white hope
do you give up things that you love?
and the pressure's building til it takes you whole
can you back on your own word?
Gonna have a lot of Urquhart-related songs on this list. This one's about Masha struggling with her identity in relation to Urquhart and how it's taken over her entire life. This song is almost what Masha thinks Urquhart thinks about her, rather than what Urquhart would actually think about her - the lyrics are gentle but firm, "you will never be under my thumb, but you are not your own man". Masha is killing herself slowly at Urquhart. God, even the line "how it will grind you into the ground if you should try to hold me" - even if she actively wants to stay at Urquhart, it'll kill her in the end. GOD.
look at me
i just can't believe what they've done to me
we could never get free
i just wanna be
i just wanna dream
Maybe in the very back of her mind, Masha is aware how she's just as trapped in the system as Vic and wants out, but she represses it. The dreamy/echoey quality of the chorus makes me feel like these are thoughts she has in her most quiet, lonely moments but she shakes them away. The lines "we're all together in the same boat, i know you, you know me" are her acknowledging she's more similar to Vic than she'd care to admit.
you've got cucumbers on your eyes
too much time spent on nothing
waiting for a moment to arise
the face in the ceiling and arms too long
i'm waiting for him to catch me
First of all, this is a cover of a song by Fever Ray which I love, but the tone of which really doesn't suit Masha. This is another song about a lost childhood and dreaming about a different life. There are also a lot of lines about waiting; Masha's almost waiting for something that will never come, an easy escape from who she is.
we're catching bullets with our heads
and hearts and all the darkest parts of us
it's strange to find such light
in such an endless night
you whisper prayers into the dark
up to a god in whom you've never believed
you always do
This is such a good Masha song! This is about Masha's complicated relationship with Urquhart. The god is Urqhuart's mission, the bullets is the deeds their officers must carry out - "we're catching bullets in our teeth" - "in our heads and hearts" - "in our backs". Everything Masha and all the other Urquhart officers do has a price but they keep doing it. There's so much I want to say about this song but I feel like it's going to come out in a really rambly, incoherent paragraph so basically: listen to all the lyrics and think about Masha growing up at Urquhart.
you're in our talons now and we're never letting go
you're in our headlights frozen and no we're not stopping
you may not believe but even we were scared at first
it takes a lot of nerve to destroy this wondrous earth
This song is Urquhart talking directly to Masha. They're not going to let her go. They're almost apologetic about it, but don't see the harm in what they're doing. "We're only human". Running down the few people who can't keep up with Urquhart's pace is a small price to pay for the greater good.
nothing every really changes
nothing's ever really gone or really here
nothing ever changes really
lay down and wait for it
my eyes to see
So many of Masha's songs have this sort of yearning tone! This one especially I associate with the fact that Masha and Vic are connected narratively. Nothing does ever change for either of them, they're both TRAPPED in a CYCLE!!!!! Even in the moments where Masha feels like she's making progress to what she wants for her future, it's out of her control.
Oh my god, though, I've never watched this music video before, I just found it right now so I could include a link and wHAT an incredible music video!!!!!
i fought the war
but the war won't stop for the love of god
i fought the war
but the war won
Okay, here's one of the most important Inhibit bands (and one of my favourite bands ever). Metric is shared between basically everyone (except Vic I guess?). This song is maybe the most intense Masha would ever feel about Urquhart - she feels like she's been fighting her whole life, but Urquhart won't let her stop fighting. It's going to destroy her eventually. Maybe it already has.
there's a fork in the road
i'll do as i'm told
and i don't know, don't know, don't know, don't know
who i wanna be
The complete opposite of Oh No! - Masha sees her entire life stretching before her and is afraid of continuing down that path, but equally afraid of the consequences if she chooses differently.
i've been on a thousand years too long
a thousand years too late for everything that's wrong
back and forth between the desert and the sea
who i was and i will always be
Back at it again with Metric, and again with Masha's struggle over her identity. I know I've already said Vic and Masha are parallels but god... they really are so similar... they've each been told Who and What they are from a young age and are still struggling to meet those expectations, even though they've handled it differently.
i think i saw what happens next
it was just a glimpse of you
like looking through a window
or a shallow sea
could you see me?
This is supposed to be a love/breakup song, but for me it's about the deterioration of Vic and Masha's friendship and how Masha feels about wanting to reconnect with him and move on from the past. I love them so much!!!!!!
you were always faster than me
i'll never catch up with you, with you
oh i can feel them coming for me
While we're on the topic of Vic and Masha, how about another Vic and Masha song. I feel like Bastille is the Official Vic and Masha band. This one is more from Vic's perspective talking about her. I promise it's not just because it's got lyrics about sleeping.
holy water cannot help you now
see i've come to burn your kingdom down
and no rivers and no lakes can put the fire out
i'm going to raise the stakes
i'm going to smoke you out
This song... is a Masha and Paulina song.
Moving on.
we have what we need
and we worked to get here
so why is there more
that's so far yet so near
i don't fit into this square anymore
this square anymore
Uh oh!!!!!!! Here comes that nagging doubt again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (also Maxïmo Park fucking rules here's another song of theirs that has nothing to do with masha but that i really love)
clear your ground, hold your throat
unspeak all the words you ever spoke
leave and lead yourself astray
say your name
tell yourself that everything is okay
WEEPS at this song. This is Masha's mantra to herself - even though she on some level knows that what Urquhart is doing is wrong and finds it hard to live with herself sometimes, she's going to persevere.
misinformation
across the nation
indoctrination
no education
i see, i say, i say
i see, i say, i say
Yikes. Well. Thanks for reading. Let me know whose songs you'd like to hear next!
Here's a bonus song from Vic to Masha to finish up.
Julia Playlist Breakdown
11/10/2019
Hey! Let's continue this character playlist breakdown streak with Julia! We've already done Victor and Masha so let's see how Julia's plays out.
oh we go where nobody knows
with guns hidden under our petticoats
no we're never gonna quit it
no we're never gonna quit it no
Julia loves having a fun time! The lead singer of The 1975 said this song was about him as a kid mucking about with his friends and dodging the cops and honestly that's Julia's entire energy.
oh if the world don't like us
it'll shake us just like we were a cold
now here we go!
well we scheme and we scheme
but we always blow it
we've yet to crash
but we still might as well tow it
Where Vic is intensely anxious about his life and future, Julia has a more laid back attitude. Yeah, things suck right now, but she still wants to make the most of whatever she has. She's very dismissive of Urquhart and if stuff doesn't turn out how she expects, she's always ready to pick herself back up again.
Julia has more instrumental/limited lyric songs than other characters. I just really get a nice Julia vibe from a lot of these upbeat songs.
I did look up the lyrics without thinking and
everyday people do
everyday things but i
can't be one of them
i know you hear me now
we are a different kind
we can do anything
Even though Julia was kicked out of Urquhart just like Vic, she's still optimistic. She doesn't think of herself as less capable because she's at Earl or because she's disabled. She can do ANYTHING!!! I love her!
Here's another chill Julia tune. Just kicking about having a nice time.
waiting in a car
waiting for the right time
waiting in a car
waiting for the right time
Here's another one of the early Inhibit songs. This song came out just as I was leaving home to go to uni and I used to walk back from class in the dark listening to this and thinking about Inhibit. It used to be an anthem for the story as a whole but it's changed a lot since then; now I associate it more with Julia and her yearning to be free and be allowed to live her life and go on adventures while being stuck at Earl.
Also, I didn't know the music video for this was about superpowered kids for the LONGEST time and when I finally saw it I was like OH SHIT!!!! THIS SONG IS LITERALLY FOR ME THANK YOU!
and i know that things aren't perfect
sick and a little nervous
knives tend to get dull and round
so let's cut this whole building down
In my mind this song is more for the end of Book Two, but it's still a great Julia song. It's almost like Julia talking to Vic and trying to cheer him up and it makes me want to cry.
Just gonna fuckin jam out to Julia songs.
each time
your lungs start to burn im curious
if you'll ever let me try to tell you
how we were demolished
put it behind you
and keep your heart polished
Okay, finally, here's a sadder Julia song. I see this one as Julia looking at her younger self and trying to work past her insecurities. The "you" is her younger self, the "we" is her present self. Things weren't easy but in classic Julia fashion she wants to believe that things always get better and that there is a brighter future out there.
[dances]
the embers of a fire still burning as they die
stay bright to keep us side by side
with eternal love, the stars above
all there is and ever was
i want it all, i want it all
i want it all, i want it all
Oh hey, it's Metric! I love the line about embers dying - yeah, they're dying, but good is still coming of it. There's still stuff out there that Julia wants to experience, she doesn't obsess over her situation like someone I could name.
and when you figure it out
you let me know
i need out of my, out of my, out of my head
i need out of my, out of my head
I think it's totally appropriate that a song about Julia being more unsure about herself and her place is also really upbeat and danceable. She hasn't got it all figured out, despite trying to make it seem that way.
Also there's a bloop in this song that sounds like the Discord notification sound and it tricks me literally every single time.
so just have fun, it's far enough
everybody needs to sleep at night
everybody needs a crutch
but couldn't good be good enough?
cause nothin' ever doesn't change
but nothin' changes much
This song exemplifies basically every single element of all Julia's songs!! Things suck, but they don't suck forever. Make the most of a bad situation. We all need a little help and that's okay. I especially love the line "nothin' ever doesn't change but nothin' changes much" because it's like a companion line to songs from Vic and Masha's playlists about how nothing every changes and you're trapped in a cycle. "Things do change" is a very Julia message for a song to have, but there's also the caveat that they don't change much. They are still all trapped, it's just that Julia sees (or tries to see) it differently.
This week was a bit shorter than the others - most of Julia's songs are very spoilery so I couldn't share them all. Hope you enjoyed this, and let me know who you'd like to see next!!
David Playlist Breakdown
25/10/2019
Hey guys!! Back at it again with another playlist breakdown. We've done Victor, Masha, and Julia, and now it's time for everyone's favourite..... David. David's playlist is shorter but that just means it's more concentrated with David's underlying theme, so let's find out what that is.
holding out for the right time
that second lifetime never arrives
always waiting on the sidelines
when is it my time
to be the one, the one, the one?
David is defined almost automatically as a side character just by his variation alone. He lives at Earl with kids who almost all have cooler powers than him. One of his best friends can hardly get his power under control, and the other is reckless with her power. A lot of his songs have to do with feeling left out and wanting to be in the spotlight, and this song is no different. This song is also about being afraid to step your comfort zone and actively decide to change things rather than just waiting for them to change on their own. Also, hello Metric.
when we grew up
our shadows grew up too
but they're just old ghosts
that we grow attached to
Despite all the self-doubt and fear he's not good enough, David has to remind himself he does have value beyond what others impose on him. "When we woke up the world was figured out" - he was born into a world that had already decided how to categorise him. (David is a trans guy and it's true that a lot of his songs are about concern over other people's perception of you, but I want to be clear that he doesn't have any anxiety or angst over being trans. His self-perception issues come from feeling inadequate in a system that prioritises power.)
i'm more than you know
i'm more than you see here
i'm more than you let me be
It's. Pretty obvious. Someone pay attention to this boy.
i'm sick of lying to the nicest of the nice
i never act myself
i am fire, i am ice
when i awake my lungs inflate with morning air
i'm powerless in time
ferociously aware
with every breath i'm inching closer to an end
This is one of the main songs I associate with David. When I first found this song, I was just moving to my own flat after living with my aunt for a while after graduating uni and was in this really weird limbo/transition period. All I had was my suitcase of clothes and a single mattress I was borrowing and I remember lying on the bare mattress in my completely empty room in my completely empty flat listening to this song on repeat. It's a very good song.
Anyway, again, David doesn't know who he is but he feels like he's more than what he seems on the surface. He is fire! He is ice!! Why will no one give him the change to prove himself!!
i'm learning confidence
i'm only learning now how to
bite back the bitterness
the weight of the crown
of fools
all i want is one place
to be loud
to be loved
to be safe
This is a song about recovery from a difficult relationship, but in David's case I feel like it's a recovery from a relationship with himself, if that makes sense. He's slowly coming into his own, he's growing stronger, he starting to assert that he's deserving of love and respect. Also this is just such a lovely song.
they'll change the maps
just to make more room
future me
you've got to learn to be alone
A top tier Inhibit band!! This is the other main song I associate with David. To me this song is about a general dissatisfaction with one's current state as well as struggling to be content with being by oneself. I love the line "they'll change the maps just to make more room" - even if you try to fit yourself into the ideal that someone has given you, they can change the rules on you at any time. David's quietly having a hard time, guys.
One of the comments on this song on Youtube is "does anyone else get Dragon Ball vibes from this?" which is. Incredible. I've never watched Dragon Ball, does it have Dragon Ball vibes
sometimes i even realise that i might risk physical harm
that's when you glare into my eyes and clench your teeth and squeeze my arm
then i feel like a pet store parrot ever spouting words
This song isn't necessarily reflective of David's actual actions, but more what he wishes he was like. He wants to be loud and obnoxious and confrontational and to have more of a presence rather than taking a backseat. At the same time, he does do things that might put him in danger; he actively seeks out little thrills, like agreeing to break back into the medblock with Julia. He feels like a sidekick. I don't know, I'm doing a bad job of explaining this one, but it just screams David to me.
i wish that i could be like the cool kids
cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in
David desperately wants to be like his more powerful, dangerous, "cooler" friends. He wants to be a protagonist!!!!!!
This illustration I did of David a while ago is based on this song. He's surrounded by media about normal characters who were suddenly given great power and went on huge journeys - Harry Potter, Deku from My Hero Academia, Jak from Jak & Daxter, Steven Universe...
rise above, gonna star the war
what you want, what you need, what'd you come here for?
well an eye for an eye and an F for fight
theyre taking me down as the prisoners riot
got shackles on, my words are tied
fear can make you compromise
with the lights turned up it's hard to hide
sometimes i wanna disappear
I think this is the first song that directly relates back to David's experiences at a facility. David didn't go to Urquhart like Victor and Julia, he went to Larner, but he has the same inferiority hangups as a result. Trained variants are forced to perform to a certain level and this can put immense pressure on people. David is afraid of being in the spotlight as a result of this, so he's constantly battling his desire to be seen and recognised with his urge to stay out of sight.
That's it for David! I hope you enjoyed this, there's only really Paulina and Nate left so I'll have to look through their songs and see if I can pick out enough non-spoilery ones to justify a whole post. Stay tuned :V
Urquhart Playlist Breakdown
19/11/2019
HEY guys! It's another playlist breakdown. We've done Vic, Masha, Julia, and David, and now it's time for everyone's favourite character...... Urquhart.
Let's start with a basic one.
now they're turning us into monsters
turning us into fire
turning us into monsters
it's all desire, it's all desire, it's all desire
They're kids, and they have guns. Next.
Yeah so the facility system not only puts kids in violent situations, but actively encourages them to participate in violence. It's not just a societal flaw, it's a purposeful manipulation of people who aren't old enough to know better, and warps their thinking so that by the time they are old enough, they can't.
cause we are the last disease
another broken life that's full of
all the awful things that i made
and we got the eyes to see
another broken life that's full of
all the awful things that i made
The Urquhart kids live in a sort of frenetic bubble where they're hyped up and encouraged to think exclusively in terms of good and bad, us and them. Urquhart teaches them to skew their thinking by using games like laser tag - it's fun to chase after and shoot people who were on your team a minute ago, it's fine to use your powers on other people like you. This song makes me think about the extreme training the kids go through and the conflict they have between "we're having fun" and "this doesn't seem right".
unquenched thirst for glory
sets off a loaded gun
miscounted inventory
leaves you with close to none
Again, this song makes me think of the mindless excitement for violence that's drilled into the Urquhart kids.
we are ready for the siege
we are armed up to the teeth
be careful how you live and breathe
release what's broken underneath
how many times do you want to die
So for absolutely AGES this was on my Paulina playlist because it's about like, getting revenge!! Fighting back!! Ohh look out I'm coming for you!!!! But the more I listened to it the more I started to associate it with the general attitude of Urquhart officers. They've all been hurt in some way by the way Urq trains them, but they've been taught to turn any negative emotions outwards towards their perceived enemies rather than back at Urquhart. I see the lyrics as being about someone taking out their personal failures on others for fear of being seen as weak, as well as ganging up on others they perceive as weak, while desperately hoping those others won't do the same to them.
This song is from a vocaloid and the lyrics are in Japanese so this is a translation..
stomp around, you are a machine of good
repeat out and now you should know thoughtfulness is guilt
stand in line, you are a servant of obedience
resign yourself and now you should know thoughtfulness is guilt
The idea of being a) a machine and b) avoiding "traitorous" thoughts are important ideas for a lot of the Urquhart characters. This song is very threatening in how it reminds the Urq kids that they should obey commands without question - Urquhart are the good guys, and if you think negatively about them then you're one of the bad guys. They are always under scrutiny.
Also 1984 is a great book, if you hated reading it in 8th grade English class might I recommend rereading it.
Instrumental intermission.
it's overwhelming me, the static in the trees
the sun is burning me, there is no cooling breeze
we don't belong to ourselves, at the mercy of the cats
we belong to places, to places
strong and brave, courageous, our tiger faces
we belong to what we came from
leaving home will be a struggle
wearing masks and beating war drums
won't equip us for these jungles
GOD typing those lyrics out made me so sad haha. This is a bit of a quieter song about the lasting impact the Urquhart training has on its kids. "We don't belong to ourselves, we belong to places" - they aren't their own people, they are what Urquhart has turned them into. I see the cats as Urquhart; the kids have been trained to be strong and have been given "tiger faces", but at the end of the day that is still just the Urquhart mask they're wearing and not their actual self. At the same time, they are constantly under threat from Urquhart itself: "we don't belong to ourselves, they've been planning their attack". The kids are not individuals, they are a resource that will be cycled out if it doesn't suit Urquhart's needs.
This will come up a bit later, but there is little to no preparation for officers who go dormant and have to leave Urquhart to live "normal" lives. The line "wearing masks and beating war drums won't equip us for these jungles" refers to how little Urquhart actually prepares them for the real world. Despite their work, the kids who grow up at Urquhart are just as sheltered as kids who grow up at any other facility, or even at Earl.
This song has a sister song (as in, the band intended for it to be a sister song) which is in the Inhibit endgame playlist. I'm not gonna link it because I'm gonna save it for that playlist breakdown in..... thirty years, but you can look it up yourself if you want.
and i count all my blessings
i have friends in high places
and i'm upgraded daily
all my wires without traces
i'm hooked into hooked into
hooked into machine
Here we go, another song about being a machine :) The Urquhart officers lead good lives and are very lucky to be working where they do: "everything's provided... part of worldly taking, apart from worldly troubles". In return, they conform to Urquhart's standards and give up their individuality to make sure the gears of the Big Urquhart Machine turn smoothly.
we will be your safety
if you'll be our soldier
just work your way up and
pay for our corporate luxuries in sweat
cling to your loyalty like it's your paycheck
we flourish on working a soldier to his death
he'll work and he won't wake up
Hell yeah!! Corporate greed, employees as faceless resource, mindless loyalty to the hierarchy. The Urquhart anthem. Also this song just slaps.
the tv tells us to be scared
we'd make a difference if we cared
we put our lives all up for sale
we get our truth in the daily mail
it's madness
get used to it
so wake up, this ain't a dream
cause everything's exactly how it seems
This one's not from Urquhart's perspective, it's more about Urquhart and the facilities and how the whole system is fucked up. Maybe people are starting to notice a little.
Bonus song!!!
Okay this one's not officially on the playlist because it's off an album about a girl being sent to a psychiatric hospital in Victorian England and it's also far too on the nose for Urquhart, but if Urquhart was more cartoonishly villainous then yeah sure it could be on there.
Thanks so much for reading and listening, I hope it was interesting!! I'll have a look and see what playlist I can talk about next...
That's as many breakdowns as I posted. Maybe one day I'll tackle the Paulina and Nate playlists. Who knows.